Character and Pain

“No matter how much wealth is generated in the world, the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our character; and the quality of our character is determined by our relationship to our pain.” -Mark Manson.

The only way we stand a chance of being able to relate to pain effectively is by having a sense of truth and meaning about ourselves. When we are at odds with ourselves, when our motivations are disorganized and unclear, difficult times quickly render us bitter, resentful, and immaturely cynical.

Like a martial artist who is unwilling to lower their center of gravity, we are vulnerable to any circumstance getting under us and throwing us with its leverage. It’s easy to knock us off track, because we were never really on track to begin with - we were just chasing the ghosts of positive emotion produced by whatever stimulation happened to activate the slot machine of brain chemistry in the moment.

When we have a clearer understanding of who we are and what we are about, it gets easier to take the hits that are inevitably coming our way. Going through difficult times in service of what we care about is a different experience. It doesn’t make things less awful, but there’s a sense of acceptance and wholeness that comes from simply living in accordance with yourself.

It’s often more of a relief to be yourself and accept the consequences (good and bad); rather than to engage in all the fancy footwork required to manage a disorganized self, hellbent on fighting the world for causing displeasure in the absence of its values.