How Do We Change How We Feel?

How do we change how we feel?
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Sometimes it feels impossible to change a pattern, no matter how much we understand it. It’s fascinating that within the brain, our rational thinking/understanding area (dorso-lateral prefrontal cortex) has no direct connections to the powerful emotional center connected to behavior (amygdala). But, the area associated with the ability to be self-aware and feel what we are feeling (medial prefrontal cortex) does.
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What does this mean? It means that simply understanding a trigger or emotionally reactive pattern is often not enough to affect change on it. But something like a mindfulness-based practice where we consciously get in touch with how experiences feel, what happens in the body when they show up - simply noticing annoyances, cravings, fears, etc. creates a platform by which we can open possibilities other than our habituated responses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Because ultimately the goal is better emotional regulation. When we are frazzled, the emotional brain takes over and we tend to seek out immediate stimulation and gratification which rarely are things in our own best interest. By consciously rewriting some of these reactive tendencies, we’re more likely to hang in for the long haul. It’s not like flipping a switch, but the brain will adapt. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Don’t misunderstand and think the goal is shutting down the emotional brain. Quite the opposite, mindfulness allows the emotional brain to be experienced more authentically so that those loops can be closed and adjusted. Avoiding these feelings makes us vulnerable to being overwhelmed by them when they do show up, often derailing our progress.
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The process is different for everyone, and different things work for different people. But generally it’s about finding a way to become calm and focused. Learning to stay calm in response to thoughts, images, and sensations that make us want to shut down and distract ourselves. Finding a way to be fully present and engaged with the people around you. And the big one - not keeping secrets from yourself about how you feel about anything.