Self-Regulation

“Self-regulation” is a term that’s become a casualty of the internet being the internet, and its meaning isn’t clear and specific anymore. ⁣
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Here’s the way I think about it: ⁣
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In simple terms, self-regulation is just, “what goes up must come down.” Stressors happen, we dial ourselves up to meet them, and then we deactivate back to relaxed readiness. ⁣
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We feel best when we repeat this UP/DOWN cycle throughout the day in rolling waves. Our biology is designed to contract and relax like this. ⁣
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But we tend to have trouble when we are overwhelmed by stress or in the wake of an intense life event. We either go UP and get stuck “UP” (anxious, restless, agitated) or go DOWN and get stuck “DOWN” (low motivation, unable to feel joy, numb). ⁣
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So the first step is to figure out where you’re getting stuck and what things push you into that stuck place. Then we learn to recognize the signs of the process (physical sensations, thoughts, behaviors) and design ways to bring some regulation back into the picture. ⁣
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Restoring that fluidity of the stress regulation system is the goal — not simply protecting ourselves from getting activated. Our biology LOVES to be activated by stressors that mean something to us, and then to be able to disengage and deactivate after encountering them.